I had an A HA! moment. I’ve had several of those over the last year and a half. My husband’s fellow firefighter and friend passed away suddenly. He was a young guy.
Hummm… The athlete I was in high school and college, the girl I had induced into a food coma, began to wake-up. She was tired of my nonsense. She began to feed my past back to me. My husband would structure activities so I wouldn’t over exert myself. I had been to Disney World three times and had not ridden the thrill rides I hungered for because I was afraid I wouldn’t fit in the seats. I just barely got my seat belt buckled on an airline flight. I had cholesterol and anemia issues. I would take an hour and a half nap at night after supper, before bedtime, because I was tired. My lower back always hurt.
I went to my PCP. He’ll give me something to fix this and I will be better. And then… a new A HA! moment. He said my weight concerned him. He made me get on the scales. I told him, “I work for an OB/GYN group, I know what the scales say.” And my inner self screamed, “LIAR!!!” OK, ok, meekly, I got on the scales. He said, “Amy, you are what is called morbidly obese. You are a candidate for gastric bypass, lap band, etc. But we need to do something now.” Those words by themselves are bad enough; attached to each other will make you think twice; with your name in front of them was a crushing blow. If that wasn’t enough, my inner self used this time to nail the coffin of the last 15 years shut, “Wouldn’t it be awful if your husband, a trained EMT, had to run a medical ca ll in his own home. A place that he calls his sanctuary, a place where you try to make his world the calmest, stress free environment possible. You’re actually making it more stressful, and neither of you realize it.” So I called my mom, a lifetime member at Weight Watchers, and I told her I was going with her to the next meeting. I told my husband what I was going to do, and the initial relief on his face told the story. He told me how glad he was. He told me he would help. Our daughter said she would do her part. I started the WW program, and things started to fall into place.
Three weeks later, my husband came home and said he had purchased a family membership to the Sports Barn. He had invested in my future. I was a little embarrassed to come in and ask for help. Then I realized that if I didn’t own this mistake, I was doomed to repeat it. I wasn’t hiding this weight from anyone except myself. Everyone else could see it, and until I did, it would stay right where it was. I made an appointment with a trainer. She asked me questions to get a better feel about who I was and what would work for me. She asked about my caloric intake. She was happy I was on the WW program. SCORE ONE for me. I felt better about being there already. She tailored a program that would benefit me and that I could do by myself or with her, which ever was better for me. A program that I could actually do right then, not three months down the road. I fo und that early morning was good for me. The responsibilities of a wife & mom were sleeping still and could get themselves ready in the mornings. I get myself ready to go the night before. I rent a locker so I can get ready and go straight to work. The Brainerd SB is 5 minutes from there. And then… A HA! I woke up a year and a half later. I hit a plateau and I was not happy.
Then A HA! It was my first plateau. How many pounds gone… over 70!!! Sometimes the hill seems to get bigger while you are climbing. Sometimes you have to look back and say…”HA! HA! Look how far I have come! I’m almost there.
And then another A HA! Someone asked me on our family vacation, “Don’t you get tired of getting up very early to work-out?” The answer is no. It’s a new cuisine for me; I am now feeding my soul, nursing it back to health. My blood work came back this week… I’m normal. My PCP saw me last week and was shocked speechless. And I said “HA! HA!”
I never thought the day would come. I just realized I’m watching the sunrise over a much closer horizon. So close, that if I walk a little more on the elliptical machine, do a few more crunches, a couple of leg presses in the weight room, swim a few more laps in the pool, well…A HA!!
Here’s hoping you just had an A HA! moment!!!!